Formerly a Pacific Northwest girl, I now reside in the Bible Belt. This is especially tough, being an atheist. Everyone around here readily drinks the Kool-Aid while I frantically search for water. It makes it hard to relate to Southerners, and to make friends. This has turned out to not be so bad, as I've discovered (or I guess admitted, since I've always known) that I greatly dislike people. I prefer to spend my time among nature. Among the birds, chipmunks, squirrels, the occasional cat or dog, and most of all, the plants. Gardening offers me more kinship than I've ever known. It's part of my therapy. Running outdoors is also part of my therapy, I get my clearest and best writing ideas while out on a run. And while I do consider my time alone exercising or outdoors "therapy", I do actually spend a considerable amount of time at my therapists office. I'm currently undergoing EMDR and have been for the past year. Undergoing therapy has been the best decision I've ever made, right up there with quitting (hard) drinking. Therapy has given me the tools I need to correct my unhealthy thinking and habits. My drinking has decreased, self-harm has decreased to a non-existent level, and my depression has... well, the depression comes and goes. Therapy has freed my mind to come to the realization that I am a creative person, and those creative forces must be voiced. Which is how this blog has come into existence. I do hope I can bring more clarity, and really just another voice to the melee. You never know who you are going to reach and help just by sitting down to the table.
I've always envied people who seemed to have a clear vision of where they wanted to go in life. It's almost as if they could see the road they walked and where their journey led. Life has never been that way for me. I feel like I've been blindly searching in the dark for the trail for the last 30 years. For me, the path was never lit.
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